Rain Dance

Posted by Jay in Travel on July 29th, 2014

Do you get wet when it rains?

This was the question a guy in my Religious Education class asked me in secondary school after an unsurprisingly rainy day in London. It was a question that took me by surprise as the answer was so obvious, or so I thought. “What the hell kind of question is that?”, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, what I said was “Of course, I get wet when it rains, I always get wet.” The sniggering and gesturing to other guys around him clued me into the fact that this was a lame attempt at a dirty joke that I had fallen for, hook line and sinker.

The rain makes it that much harder for me to get around places, a trip that would usually only take me 10 minutes could easily become 20 as I am trying to avoid stepping on the various puddles, falling and ruining my dry clean only clothes and generally making an ass of myself with the public watching. Having to use crutches only makes it 10 times for difficult as it’s just double the chances of me tripping over on something or slipping on a small part of the ground that is wet, that only my crutches will be able to find.

Using two crutches also means that I can’t hold an umbrella because I already have my hands full. And having lived in London for so long, I have just gotten used to the fact that I do always get wet when it rains, my clothes will get soaked and I never bother heat styling my hair, because I can’t be bothered and also because it will probably only last 2 minutes until the rain washes it out.

My mother being the doll that she is mentioned that she saw something online that could help me;

Rocking the latest fashions, whatever the weather

I know without a shadow of a doubt that my mother loves me, but after she had shown me this as a potential fix to the rain problem, I wasn’t so sure that she actually liked me. How could THAT ever be a good idea? Even as a joke, I could never.

Another issue that I have when it rains is that I feel less inclined to use the underground because of how much more dangerous it is when it has been raining. Everybody is always rushing about, and given the fact that so many stations still don’t have lifts it makes it that much more likely to slip on the stairs and I just don’t feel comfortable taking that risk. So I end up on a muggy bus that takes forever and a day to get anywhere because everyone is trying to avoid the rain.

Unfortunately for me, Rihanna did not make good on her offer for me to stand under her umbrella.

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about Jayon UPDATE: As of 25/09/2015 Nigeria has been removed from the WHO's Polio Endemic List! Having been born in Nigeria, I hail from one of three countries where polio is still unfortunately endemic, the other two being Pakistan and Afghanistan. I had contracted the poliovirus before my ...Read More

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